i wish i could show everyone who you really are. i wish they could see how youve hurt me. i wish they knew that you were to self absorbed to realize i was crying on the phone with you. but i guess from what im hearing youre doing a fine job of showing them yourself. its hard not to worry about you. i think im more worried because i know that if you do it so will those other guys that look up to so much. i wish you realized what a great example you COULD be for them. you could show them the strong man of God that is deep down inside but you wont. instead you are choosing to show this cowardly cocky jerk. i havent quite forgiven you for all the promises you have broken or the things you have said and done to make me feel like crap. but i am your friend because i know that me being angry and bitter will not change who you are. and i live knowing that one day you will realize everything. i know that you will realize what you did to hurt me and you will realize what you have lost. and im sorry that you cant see that now because i think you would learn so much more if you did. i wish you the best i really really do. i want you to be happy. i want me to be happy. but i just get sick of watching this amazing person i used to know get barried by this crappy person that makes dumb decisions.

im learning slowly how greatful i am to be out of that relationship. i want to be your friend. i hope you are in my life forever. but in a healthy friendship and nothing else.