sometimes you cant help how you feel about someone. i like him. i like him so much. being with him on friday all i wanted to do was have his arm around me and feel safe with him. listening to him talk is amazing. his thoughts are so pure and intelligent. friday i just wanted to listen to him and trent and soak it all in. i wanted to learn and grow. thats what this time is for me and i know that both of those boys are helping me grow. i know he likes me. why wouldnt he. the way i catch him looking at me. teasing me. buying me coffee. hanging out and studying me and him. its so comfortable and natural. but makes me nervous all the same. haha the good nervous though. as much as i try to supress my feelings i cant help it. i cant help but have him cross my mind every once in a while. the question is does he have the same thing with me? my brother says he would. theres no way he wouldnt. but im just not sure. well see i guess. haha.
i love being his friend. so taking time is good. its safe. but sometimes i just want to take leaps. but i also know that in the past leaps have gotten me into a lot of trouble. a lesson here? im almost sure of it. im working on patiences right now. which i can handle. i like him enough to trust god with the situation. if things are supposed to happen they will. i trust that statement with my heart and i trust god with my heart. completely. : ] its nice not to have to worry about things. they are out of my control. carefree. carefree is good. very good.

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la